x-rated pineapple slush

this all started because, i wanted to make a poptail (popsicle + cocktail) and i had a pineapple to make a granita.

why this is a slush and not a poptail recipe; i love the idea of a poptail. i don’t like the liquor to liquid ratio (1:6).

i like my drinks strong, and if i followed with a 1:6 ratio for a poptail, it’d be frozen solid, but the liquor amount would be almost non-existent for my overly indulged liquor self.

first thing i made was the pineapple granita. start with that, simple syrup – one cup water, one cup sugar, medium to high heat. next, screw off the stalk of the pineapple. yes, literally, twist it right off. magic!

see how my fingers are not protected? do not cut like me. protect your fingers. cut the pineapple in half lengthwise. cut each half again, lengthwise. from each section remove the core. then cut into chunks. the simple syrup is probably done. turn it off. let it sit at room temperature.

gather up all your pineapple chunks and throw them into a blender with half a shot of the pineapple vodka. blend!

grab a bowl and a fine mesh strainer. put the pineapple puree through the strainer once. pineapple has a lot of excess materials that separate, that’s why i did this, i think it makes for a smoother product.

see? separation! i probably could have strained it a few more times but i think once is definitely good enough for a granita. push as much of the pineapple liquid as you can through the strainer.

find a freezer safe container. pour in the pineapple puree and simple syrup. whisk together, making sure it’s well incorporated. freeze for 3-4 hours.

after 3-4 hours, take out of the freeze, and repeatedly scrape the surface with a fork… then, it’s back in the freezer for another 2 hours. (this all depends on your freezer of course).

looks like sherbet doesn’t it? that’s because the sugar content for my granita was high. if you want it more ice-like, use half a cup of sugar for one cup of water when making the simple syrup, options.

crushing ice. i have an ice crusher. i love it. i love ice. it works like magic.

if you don’t have one, you can use a blender.. or get very crazy, and grab a few bags, load them up with ice, and get a hammer! this will work but i haven’t tried it. crush up a lot. i used close to 4 cups of ice cubes for 2 drinks.

start packing your glasses with crushed ice. find the bottle of pineapple vodka.

one shot of pineapple vodka in each glass. then pour one and a half shots of x-rated fusion over the top. (if you haven’t tried x-rated fusion liqueur, it’s a french vodka infused with passion fruits, blood oranges, and mangos. sofuckingood).

garnish with a large amount of pineapple granita…. all finished! so good. so good. so good……. and, so very strong. be careful! i mean it. careful.