wreaths are my newest favorite thing to make. i feel like i did when i first learned to bind a book. so much fucking excitement! yeah i love these.

they do take some time, focus, and patience to make a final product that doesn’t look like a craft project gone wrong. give it a try. they make excellent gifts. and they’re all truly beautiful. people will be amazed you made it.

i got all my supplies at michaels. i am usually not that boring. it’s christmas stuff though, and it’s always, like, 50% off. i think everything i got was from a michaels brand called ashland™. just go to michaels, it has everything you’ll need… including that little clip bird. it was around the floral stuff at the michaels i go to.

as far as tools, a heavier gauge floral wire, wire cutter, a glue gun + sticks is all you really need. oh, and scissors.

i started with  ashland™ christmas ‘ting™‘. yes, CHRISTMAS TING™. it’s really just a super thin and somewhat flexible piece of manufactured twig. just weave and braid in and out. in and out. in and out. also, don’t be worried about them breaking, they will… and it’ll be okay.

wired ribbon! this stuff is so awesome, especially for wreaths. i started from the back to the front.. and then, secured it with a tiny bit of hot glue.

more weaving, more braiding. it never gets old. at this point, start using the foliage.

weave tings, twigs, and foliage.. then, adhere a contrasting piece of ribbon onto the other ribbon and, secure with hot glue.

the gold leafs! back to the front.

most things fall into place and feel pretty secure. these gold pieces do not, so they need to be wired.

christmas tings. and more twigs. and more looking. keep looking at your wreath. keep adjusting it. turn your head. turn the wreath. turn your head. repeat.

this garland is very stiff! wrap it around. i didn’t need wire or glue to secure it.

more wiring… and random red berry placement for those little hints of red.

ornaments! more round objects (this is important. we like this when we see it.) keep it away from the red berries to contrast them. then, use hot glue to secure the ornament to the wreath.

pine comb placement is important too. try to visualize where the bird will be. put the pine comb(s) in that general area.

i added a gold ball and more red berries. i really started to like the wreath, at this point.

i glued another ornament down. and thought about where the bird should go, exactly.

on a twig? yes. that’s perfect.

another round object. this time i put the ornament topside down. (top = where it’d normally hang from.)

fishnet of GLITTER, aka,  ashland™ netting. i totally laughed at the thought of someone wearing these to a new years eve party. cut off a foot and wrap it loosely around the wreath as a whole in one area. then pull foliage, leafs, and ornaments out of the netting.

something wasn’t quite right about the solid object of color behind the bird, so…. i used the super sniff garland to somewhat cover it up. that was the final touch… and it was perfect.

1. butter a pie plate or 9 inch cake pan + preheat oven at 350 degrees
2. wash and rinse the cranberries
3. pour cranberries, walnuts/pecans, and sugar+ salt, into the pie plate or cake pan
4. make the batter, mix up sugar and butter. beat the eggs with the vanilla and almond extract. mix with the sugar and butter. add the flour.
5. pour over the cranberries and walnuts/pecans. add a little salt.
6. bake for 45 minutes.

here is the recipe, nantucket cranberry pie. happy thanksgiving!

this all started because, i wanted to make a poptail (popsicle + cocktail) and i had a pineapple to make a granita.

why this is a slush and not a poptail recipe; i love the idea of a poptail. i don’t like the liquor to liquid ratio (1:6).

i like my drinks strong, and if i followed with a 1:6 ratio for a poptail, it’d be frozen solid, but the liquor amount would be almost non-existent for my overly indulged liquor self.

first thing i made was the pineapple granita. start with that, simple syrup – one cup water, one cup sugar, medium to high heat. next, screw off the stalk of the pineapple. yes, literally, twist it right off. magic!

see how my fingers are not protected? do not cut like me. protect your fingers. cut the pineapple in half lengthwise. cut each half again, lengthwise. from each section remove the core. then cut into chunks. the simple syrup is probably done. turn it off. let it sit at room temperature.

gather up all your pineapple chunks and throw them into a blender with half a shot of the pineapple vodka. blend!

grab a bowl and a fine mesh strainer. put the pineapple puree through the strainer once. pineapple has a lot of excess materials that separate, that’s why i did this, i think it makes for a smoother product.

see? separation! i probably could have strained it a few more times but i think once is definitely good enough for a granita. push as much of the pineapple liquid as you can through the strainer.

find a freezer safe container. pour in the pineapple puree and simple syrup. whisk together, making sure it’s well incorporated. freeze for 3-4 hours.

after 3-4 hours, take out of the freeze, and repeatedly scrape the surface with a fork… then, it’s back in the freezer for another 2 hours. (this all depends on your freezer of course).

looks like sherbet doesn’t it? that’s because the sugar content for my granita was high. if you want it more ice-like, use half a cup of sugar for one cup of water when making the simple syrup, options.

crushing ice. i have an ice crusher. i love it. i love ice. it works like magic.

if you don’t have one, you can use a blender.. or get very crazy, and grab a few bags, load them up with ice, and get a hammer! this will work but i haven’t tried it. crush up a lot. i used close to 4 cups of ice cubes for 2 drinks.

start packing your glasses with crushed ice. find the bottle of pineapple vodka.

one shot of pineapple vodka in each glass. then pour one and a half shots of x-rated fusion over the top. (if you haven’t tried x-rated fusion liqueur, it’s a french vodka infused with passion fruits, blood oranges, and mangos. sofuckingood).

garnish with a large amount of pineapple granita…. all finished! so good. so good. so good……. and, so very strong. be careful! i mean it. careful.

cork and hemp necklace, otherwise known as, my ‘drunk & high‘ necklace. cork, drinking, and hemp, smoking, ya know? this necklace is crazy, easy. this necklace took me years of planning. this necklace took me about an hour to actually figure out and make simply because i was avoiding cleaning.

the prototype, i made with thread… and it wasn’t as long. since it’s been deconstructed. it’ll be reconstructed into one with a hemp cord now too. hemp just fits this necklace. it would probably look amazing with a thin silver or gold chain… very thin! (but adding that would take away from the drunk and high appeal of this one.)

this is what you need; cork, bottle top, hemp cord, jewelry pieces: ear wire hook, eye pin, barrel clasp.

not much at all right? cut the hemp cord to 40 inches. that’s what you do first, measure and cut the hemp. in the end, the necklace will be approximately 36 inches.

first, ignore my nail polish or lack thereof, please. second, take the bottle cap and secure it to where it falls naturally into place. place the awl in the center of the bottle cap and cork. push, push, push… pretty easy. the hole you make will noticeably larger than the eye pin.

that’s an eye pin. yeah i didn’t know the name either until recently. it came in a package of jewelry findings i had. cut it with scissors. it’s thin enough that it’ll cut pretty easily. leave about 1.5 inches.

my ears are gauged so i totally didn’t really even recognize what this was. it’s for your ears! it kind of reminds me of looking through my moms jewelry box in the early 90s (after i realized what it was, of course). find the EAR WIRE HOOK, start positioning it in the opposite end of where the bottle cap goes. take the awl and make another large hole slightly off-center. the ear wire hook will go there.

barrel clasp…

thread the barrel clasp with the hemp. tie two knots for security. one is fine because the cork is so light, but two makes it really really fine. then, put the EAR WIRE HOOK on the side that isn’t hemp cord’d, (new word).

remember that hole you made with the awl? that hole is where you’ll put the looped side of the EAR WIRE HOOK. i don’t think it needs glue. you could use a little, if you really wanted to. just push it very firmly into place. it should hopefully stay, mine did. make sure you secure both ends of the EAR WIRE HOOK.

glue time. i used a glue gun. i had not had a glue gun since i was a teenager until about 2 years ago. i had forgotten how useful they’re.

with a glue gun, be fast with this. put the glue on the cork. put the cap on the cork. then, push the eye pin in.

if the glue dries before you get a chance to put the eye pin in, take a needle or the end of the eye pin, and clean out the dried glue… then, set the eye pin in place. (but try to do this when it’s still wet – so it affixes to the glue as well).

no glue gun? don’t wanna heat one up? it’s too messy. yeah, i know.. you can do this with super glue as well. make sure to read the label to see if it bonds with metal/cork/etc.

thread the eye pin with the hemp. tie two knots again. trim. and finished! i really should make gift tags for these..

i love this necklace. i wear it a lot.

and if you lovelovelove newsprint, wood, and jewelry as much as i do. you should make it, you’ll wear it a lot too. it’s also really easy and quick. make it in the morning and wear it out that evening. simple.

i found my craft wood at michaels. and i am pretty sure they carry everything else to make this. the cord i used was nylon-ish. i have so much of that cord. i found it for under a dollar at SAS fabrics. i think that’s local to arizona – but i really haven’t a clue. the place is great.. anyway.

first first first, find some newsprint. find stuff with interesting typography, words, or colors. cut down a few pieces to 2×2 or anything really. it all works. well, not everything. don’t cut it the size of the squares.

find a cord that is somewhat thick but not too thick. measure and cut it down to around 28 inches… now, the wood. i love wood. i used spray adhesive because it’s quick. do this outside, or not. i didn’t. i should have. lightly spray the squares with the adhesive.

next, line up your exacto with the wood and cut the extra newsprint off. don’t worry about trying to cover newsprint around the edges.

now find the piece you want the cord to go through. mark it at .75 inch from each side.. and a little less than .25 inch from the top (i eyeballed this). next i drilled a tiny hole in the markings. i didn’t show this because it was in another part of my studio. i will next time, maybe? now sand off the edges on the front and back.

now sand all the pieces. front. back. sides. i really like the look sanding gives.

wood glue time. grab more scrap paper. start arranging them in the order that feels natural. i had to remind myself often that a lot of the square would end of covered.

clean up excess glue that sandwiches its way out. i used the edges of other scrap paper for this. now let it dry for about 45 minutes. it doesn’t take long at all. you didn’t use that much glue.

i used a gloss finish because i wanted it to look as if it had some sort of glass over it. also, please put tape on the back of your pendant before putting the finish on it. this will help the ‘move around’ factor. it’ll just stay in one place and be SO much easier to paint.

make sure to keep the holes free of the gel medium. i used an upholstery needle to remove excess. i let the finish dry for 2 hours before handling again.

i think this style of a sliding knot is ’chinese’, but i could be wrong. i probably am. i didn’t have any clue on how to make these until recently. i love them because you don’t need tiny jewelry parts (not that i hate those). this is easy, very, very, fucking, easy.

one the right side, make a very loose knot. take the left side and slide it into the knot. make a knot on the left side, keep it loose. slide them into each other and tighten. yep. that’s it. finished!

i started making these necklaces back in 2002. soon the only necklaces i owed, were these. i stopped wearing them. in 2005 i was a barista and i wanted something colorful to wear with my plain black button down shirt while making espresso drinks. i pulled these out. i always got compliments on them.

OHhhhhhohh… i am wearing them again, and i’m getting the same great compliments.

thread the needle. wax the thread. make sure it is really covered in wax. like really, really, really, really covered.

have i told you that when i started needing waxed thread they didn’t have those little things/holders. i have no clue what they’re called, it looks like some sort of wax cartridge to me. find that little cartridge thing. it helps out ALOOOOOT.

i found mine in the leather/beads section at michaels. if you can’t find that, regular beeswax is awesome. it just makes waxing it a bit tougher. OR, you can find some waxed thread, it is a miracle. dick blick has some.

leave yourself 5 inches of thread before securing the button. i always use the 4 hole buttons to start and finish with because they “lock” into place.

for buttons with two holes, make a tiny knot after each one so it stays in place. (see the loop-hole in picture 2? yep.. yeah.) now just keep stinging, as randomly as possible.

try to use different spacing between each button too.

once you have all four pieces of thread button’d (new word!), start to gather them together. this could be a bit tricky but you’ll get it. push all 4 pieces of thread into the barrel clasp. (leave the clasp, clasped.) tie two tiny knots.

repeat again… and trim! that’s it. (WELL, you may need to clean off the buttons, if they have that wax look to them). also, this is perfect for bracelets too! adjust measurements as needed.

this is what i’m calling the perfect notebook, it’s glued, giving it a perfect bound appearance.. AND it is sewn, so it lays completely flat when opened, without pages coming unattached. it looks like a lot of work. it really isn’t that much work.

when i first learned how to make books. i spent a lot of hours just sewing together signatures. instantly i was in love with the act of sewing paper. after all this time, i still love it. maybe because my love for paper never dies.

book signatures. here is how to make them. for one signature, take two sheets of paper, put one on top of the other, line up. fold in half. crease with a bone folder along the folded edge. this book requires 6 signatures. (always do in even number of signatures). this is a 48 page notebook. ie: each signature has 8 pages, 8×6= 48 pages)

now, it’s time to make a guide for sewing. do this on a separate piece of stock. i used a thick ass cover stock that ended up ripping, so not the best choice.. just something thicker than copy stock. also make sure it is the same length as the signatures/pages/whatever.

mark it, 1 inch in from the edges. then make a 2 inch space. add another mark. then another 1 inch one spacing. do the same thing on the other edge.

now you’re going to want to make holes in the signatures. these holes will be used for sewing. i had to use my needle to do this. it was a bitch. all my awls have gone missing. they’re usually cheap. like, under 3 bucks. if you plan to make more than, 4 of these. buy an awl. it’ll be a lot easier. dick blick has a lot of options.

this is an awesome trick. this is how i figure out how much thread i will need for a book. i use the sewing guide and put thread around it once for each signature i have. for 6 signatures, i went around it 7-8 times.

i used to use a piece of beeswax for waxing the thread. i did this up until 5 months ago when i found this little thing of wax in the jewelry section of michaels. it’s a lot more manageable than that piece of beeswax i used to use.

thread your needle and wax your thread completely. it should get so covered in wax, it’ll look more like twine. good waxed thread will not knot as easily, which makes it a lot easier to sew. grab something, a book, to sew the book on. i used a speedball lino block. i have a few of these. i’ve had them forever. i’m glad they don’t stay lost for good when i lose them. you will want the book to have a hard covered and probably not in the best shape. you will use tape on it.

tape the end of the thread (end = the side that doesn’t have the needle), leaving about 8-10 inches of length.

sew on the first signature. in and out, in and out. pretty easy right? sew on signature #2.. now once you get to the end of signature #2, you will want to take your needle and loop it around the first signature at the end. (the picture makes a lot more sense, i hope).

continue to sew on the signatures.. at the end you will the same thing as when adding a new signature, accept you work your way down the sewing until you reach where you taped the thread to the sewing board/book. when you reach the end, tie into a knot. i usually make 2 knots. trim accordingly.

since the manilla folder has tabs and other rounded edges/things, you’ll need to trim these off. trim it all off carefully, make it as square as possible.

here is how to make the spine. use 2 or 3 binder chips on your sewn book. place the book inside the cover. line up a ruler with your book.. take out the book, leaving your ruler in place and mark with a pencil. now score* the manilla folder.

how to score: use a very dull x acto (or if your bone folder has a sharper tip) and a ruler. you don’t want to slice the paper, you just want to indent the paper.

(*scoring creates a line in the paper that will make a neat and clean folded edge).

yeah, the cover and the book are not the same size at all. first, line up the spine of the sewn book with the spine of the folder. using a ruler slowly start cutting away the excess paper from the book. this will make for a nice clean edge too.

also, cut the folder down to size as far as length. both the book and the cover is during this step.

fabric, it’s probably cotton, and it’s probably wrinkled. i ironed mine. you probably should too, depending on just how wrinkled it is. lay the cover over the fabric and make sure your fabric sheet is big enough. leave an overlay of fabric by 1-2 inches.

3m super 77. the most potent shit on earth. i love it so much. spray the folder as evenly as possible, using the most spray at the corners and through the spine area. spray the fabric, all over.

take the sprayed folder and put it on top of the fabric. use a card to flatten the folder into the fabric. pay a lot of attention to the spine and the corners.

gift wrapping time! no, but kind of. fold over the edges, and cut off the top layer (in the second picture). you don’t have to, but it is a good idea, because less fabric will make for a cleaner edge.

start heating up the glue gun and, start lining up the sewn book with the cover… put a strip of glue down the spine of the cover, and mostly on the sewn part of the book.

looks pretty good right? ok, securing the end papers  to the cover…

almost done. almost done. almost fucking done! okay. “end papers/pages” are (from what i remember from my research into book making, and all those books on book binding and hand-made books.. i could be wrong, but i don’t think so?) the first and last pages that attach to the cover.

line up the “end papers/pages” with the cover and trim sightly, being careful not to cut the cover. attach with little dabs of glue or more spray mount. if you use spray mount, be extra careful of over spray.

all finished! let your book dry (closed) for up to 24 hours with a few heavy books, such as; encyclopedias, dictionaries, medical text books, whatever. just make sure it’s heavy but not heavy enough to totally collapse the spine.

here are the templates;


DOWNLOAD .DOCX DOWNLOAD .PDF


AND, depending on your printer, you may need to let them dry for a minute or two..

now, do this one at a time. see the trim marks? line up your ruler with those marks and cut just slightly beyond the end of the mark. (do not completely cut until the end of the page! but if you do this, try to line it up perfectly and do not let it happen again, ok? it’s a bitch.)

since these are the size of a postcard, i don’t put them in an envelope (if you really wanted too, an A6 sized one would work perfectly – it is 4 3/4 x 6 1/2 inches). i usually end up sticking two labels on the reverse side, one for the addressee and one for the return.

here are mine, all stacked up.

AND be sure to follow this guide for mailing.

putting these in the mail feels so fancy. and i love being fancy. so, i think in the future, before (every)other whisky binge, i will send out invites out. well, it’s a goal.

summer drinks. this is one of those.

i started making thyme lemonade a few years ago after finding it in some martha stewart magazine; maybe it was her short-lived blue print. i miss that magazine so much.

last summer i started drinking lavender infused vodka at this bar called district in the sheraton in downtown phoenix. i don’t even remember what the lavender infused vodka came in. but i’m sure it was the lemonade.

i instantly wanted to infuse vodka with lavender, rose petals, thyme, etc.. and i guess you could reverse it; infuse the vodka with thyme and infuse the simple syrup (for the lemonade) with lavender.

first, remove ½ cup of vodka from the bottle. drink it up. burnburnburnburn. it’s two shots i think. second, measure out ¼ cup of lavender flowers.

next, panic and realize that all your plastic funnels have paint all over them. or maybe you just don’t have one. anyway, find a piece of copy paper and make a paper funnel.

after all the flowers are in the bottle, use the back-end of a fork or spoon to mix up the lavender a bit. try to break them apart (but don’t worry too much about this). now, shake, shake, shake.

now put the bottle in the freezer for four days. only four days, seriously, lavender is some strong shit. really, even three days would work.

four and a half days later, it’s done. it’s finished. and it’s amazing… get out the fine mesh strainer and cheese cloth. double up the cheese cloth a few times. start straining. this goes pretty quick.

i didn’t even bother to really try to extract more liquid/vodka from the flowers by pushing on them, but if you wanted, you really could. it is vodka after all. while it’s straining, rinse out the vodka bottle and get out as many lavender flower bits as you can. get them all out. you’ll pour the strained vodka back into the original bottle.

there, it’s done. i put it back in the freezer.

on the vodka brand/choice. i like svedka. i have since i first tried it. it is clean and it is affordable. now, i am no vodka snob. i usually stick to svedka, favored skyy (dragon fruit and soda water is to die for). when i am in a snobby mood, i will opt for jewel of russia (my favorite vodka – ever), but really, svedka does a fine job.

OK - the lemonade.

when buying lemons, very important. do not, do not, do not, buy lemons that feel light. they will be too dry to juice. find lemons that feel heavy for their size.

this is an optional ingredient (but for me, kind of, essential but i cook a lot so i like to have extracts on hand), lemon extract. i am going to use it. you don’t have to. but it does add a punch, such a richness, like ohhhh this is good, so i really do recommend it. and i promise if you do in fact use it, you’ll always use it, lemon poppy-seed muffins, lemon pound cake, more lemonade.

i received a fancy juicer as a gift.. i never use it. and you don’t need one, really. i like mine though (especially when i get to use it.)

so… i ran out of white sugar. i almost had a full cup of white, i think i was about 3 tablespoons short, so i ended up throwing some brown sugar spoonfuls into the white to make a full cup of sugar.

i use a 1:1 ratio for simple syrup. one cup sugar, one cup water. it is basic and it is easy, and that ratio is perfect for cocktails. start with 1 cup sugar in a pot, add 1 cup water and turn the heat on high. next, clean 3-6 sprigs of thyme. toss the cleaned sprigs into the simple syrup. bring to a rolling boil and turn off and remove from heat. leave the thyme in there.

i only needed 5 lemons to get a cup of juice, but, i have needed up to 10 in the past. this will vary a lot i think. to get the most juice out of your lemons, fork the skin a few times and put in the microwave for 5-15 seconds. if you’re juicing by hand, that makes it a lot easier.. also! squeeze the lemons over a fine mesh strainer or colander so it catches the seeds.

when you have a cup of lemon juice, add 1 teaspoon of the lemon extract to the juice, and, remove the thyme from the simple syrup.

add 3 cups of water and the lemon juice to a pitcher. when the simple syrup has cooled to luke warm, add it to the pitcher as well. stir stir stir. cut up some lemon slices and throw some thyme sprigs in the lemonade.

for the cocktails – mix 1/2 cup of vodka for each 1 to 1 and 1/2 cups of lemonade. garnish with a lemon slice and sprig of thyme. these are some serious cocktails. they’re strong but don’t taste it at all.

i finished mine, in like, 3 gulps. very lady like.